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January 5th, 2012

12:37 am: FUCK FACEBOOK!!! hahahaha
I've had this journal for 11 years and counting now. Has it really been that long? Has anything really changed? They say that people are essentially the person they will always be from about 10 years old, I can see some argument in that. OK obviously you're more immature and all that, but at the core your logic and reasoning is probably the same. God my picture is annoying why on earth did I ever pick that?! I feel I can be more myself here, I think I might keep it up, it's always good to vent in some respect. I couldn't do that on facebook, I don't think I can be myself there really, there's too many people I only half know, it's almost like real life, but online, how annoying. It seems to get its claws into everything- my every internet movement- it wants to know every video I have ever seen, every song I have ever heard, everything I like, every place I have ever visited it's just ffs I don't want my entire life documented, fuck you steve guttenberg or mark fuckerberg or whatever your name is!!!

April 30th, 2009

07:45 pm: maths maths and more maths atm I'm starting to think in triangles and looking at everything in the entire world in random patterns thinking side looks about 7 cms and the angle is about 76 degrees and thinking cos sin rules will come in handy for that, what a complete bore. Going back london soon, get some speakers and sort out bank stuff and getting wine, sort out the visa once and for all, play some ps3, watch more HD stuff, go to a club, see star trek, have a pint with the j man and head back at 6am on tuesday with loads of clean clothes and my new shoes and other new clothes.

I've got a roommate who is obsessed with how rich he is, how much richer he is than everybody else, what a nutter.

April 26th, 2009

09:50 pm: i've decided we reincarnate

but have no recollection of our past

we are like computers that are switched on when we have consciousness

we probably what probably come into being again

the universe has collapsed upon itself

and starts again fresh

and God is actually the cosmos, because they go on about God being everywhere and one

and all thoughts combined are the thoughts of God

there isn't a creator or anything, the universe is a random thing because nature has a natural conclusion of trying to understand itself

and once it is fully understood

everything is destroyed

because it has no purpose in existing

then it'll start over all again

a fresh

new born, doing the same thing again, for infinity, coming into a slightly different random form each time

our part of existence is just part of this journey

our species will never understand fully because it is too limited

but we contribute to the process

March 27th, 2009

04:52 pm:

March 8th, 2009

06:00 pm: great, my laptop fell like a clumsy humpty dumpty. I reckon my left cone or the coil is loose as the speaker is fucked up or something cos it's buzzing like hell, because I heard a rumour that hell constantly buzzes because it's really annoying.

Apart from that everything else is good :D

I can't believe I've had this livejournal for over 8 years, how time flies!

November 21st, 2008

01:45 am: poor old livejournal, i forever forget you you silly thing. Off to Genoa next month to America recreating some kind of columbus voyage i guess. As usual in two minds about it, I'm just going away for so long, but have to do something with my time i guess, so might as well do that. Just hope I can get contact with the world sometimes and have the internet and that sort of thing every so often. But three months away is bloody long, I didn't want a contract that long but looks like i have not much choice in the matter, three months feels more like a year perhaps when in relative isolation. I guess I'll be away from the cold and get back when things start warming up again. And whenever I get back I always appreciate life more because I miss things which I take for granted, sleep, being lazy, the potential to see people, knowing what's going on in the rest of the world etc

Also happy birthday to my brother, see you on sunday, I've got tickets for something that I hope will be rather cool.

But yeah, things are going generally rather well as far as things go, keeping my sanity ticking along nicely, or maybe I was born insane and have the occasional bouts of sanity, who knows.

August 21st, 2008

08:08 pm: stuck in spain
coming back sunday, got a meeting on monday then off to southampton for a bit the follwing week as far as I can tell. But yeah was supposed to be going home soon hmmm have to go dinners ready lol

July 29th, 2008

05:43 am: off to france again
I never seem to be in the same place for more than a couple of weeks at a time for the past few months, hopefully I won't have to go back to Spain for a while there. It would be ok if it wasn't for the creature.

So France today, looking forward to it. Although I am dreadful, I was supposed to get money exchanged yesterday in london and get my haircut. I hope they don't charge commission at the airport for getting so euros, how annoying that will be. Although as i find out time and time again, laziness never seems to pay off and going that extra mile really almost always seems to, it just has a cunning knack of that happening. So that being said, I should really follow that, but somedays you're just like gaaaaaaah I was put off actually by having to have some boring conversation with a hairdresser, just couldn't face it yesterday if truth be told.

So the plans in france, I guess pop down to italy, make a film, drink a bit, see some cool places and a bit of the night life and eat at some nice places, possibly get served by that gordon ramsey waiter again, maybe he's moved on in the world. I don't know if spending £25 a day is a bit tight but that's what I'm budgeting for, I'm guessing some days will be a lot cheaper than others.

I don't know if I'm going back to sea straight after I come back, I kind of don't want to because it'll be annoying, but I know it'll be for the best because the quicker I get through this the faster I'll start earning proper money and yeah, all jobs are shit, so you might as well do it for the money unless you win the lottery or something then obviously you would be foolish to not be as lazy as possible.

Hmmmm I have to pack and do other crap for the next few hours, how dull, I don't think, when driven by myself, I'll ever not leave something to the last minute, I've always been so much more motivated at helping other people to the expense of myself, I wish i would help myself first sometimes.

June 4th, 2008

01:51 am: back from generic up north for a bit
It's frustrating this job sometimes. They just leave you in the dark. I could be not contacted for ages, then its like, ummm you've got 48 hours, should you complete this mission you can get your seamans discharge written about.

Someone invited me to Florida. I found a flight for £139 and I was so tempted (and still contemplating it for the future), but i'm not wilde, i can resist tempetation. It seems better than the california and morocco offers because i'll have to pay for a hotel and stuff, also I'll get to see the everglades which dr hartley was raving on about in biology class when I was 14, I'll always pronounce osmosis (and its high to low concentrations and semi permiable walls- who gives a fuck?!) with a thick scottish accent because of that man. Cali would cost a small fortune and if I went I would want to do it in a different way anyway.

Morocco is just filth, pure dirt. It has camels? Cool, lots of camel toes and long eyelashes to sweep the sand out of their giant glisening black eyeballs. Been there loads of times also.

I may as well systematically cross all the places I want to go in the world off my list, probably just for the sake of it.

Today I was really hyper and chatting shit all day. Sometimes I can feel so morose. Other days I can feel chronicly shy. Other days full of anger. Other days full of mischief. What I'm trying to say is I increasingly feel internal extremes, it's really odd. It seems like no one can affect it, that is simply the way it's going to be.

I sense big changes in my life happening very soon. I won't doubt what I want. If I fail I tried my best in this situation, it'll be a new way of failing for this particular thing. It's worth the risk to stand out, to be bold. The only way to make others believe is if I believe myself.

April 4th, 2008

02:45 pm: Well I'm back at home after three solid months without a day off, I just plan on having a rest. Met up with the J Man and had a couple of pints, good catching up as always big man. But I've just been buying loads of stuff etc can't help it sometimes lol when you're away for so long you tend to go funny in the head a bit, but beig away makes me appreciate things more- even daytime tv seems but aha nah that'll always be shit apart from Loose Women.

I'm doing well giving up the fags, I mean once you quit you'll always crave deep down to have one more when you think about it, but just when you think of a cigarette eat something instead, it seems to work, then just eat one gram of protein a day to each pound of weight and train intensively one hour a day three times a week instead lol nah I can't be arsed to do that!

Learning how to box turned out well- got a good score on that boxing machine in the arcades, and that's what it's all about! aha unfortunately my wrist is to weak to absorb the awesome power of my right hand lmao my jab is still unbelievably shite though, but slowly improving.

I just have so many DVD's now, I just want to swop some, not interested in selling really, it'll just be pennies when it comes down to it- probably have about 100 DVD's I would like to swop, bet there are loads of people in that situation.

It looks like August is going to be good though, everyone is going down to the south of france so I get to have a half decent holiday to look forward to this year. Catch you all later!

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